Expressions of Request and Permission

Polite request (〜ていただけますか)

The pattern 「〜ていただけますか」 is used to politely ask the listener to do something for the speaker. It is formed with the te-form of a verb + 「いただけますか」. The verb 「いただく(いただく, to receive humbly)」 is the humble form of 「もらう(もらう, to receive)」, so this pattern is used when the speaker receives an action from someone who is more respected, such as a teacher, a superior, or a server. The negative form 「〜ていただけませんか」 sounds even softer.

Pay attention to the direction of the action. 「〜てさしあげましょうか(shall I ... for you?)」 is an offer from the speaker to another person, so the doer is the speaker, not the listener. For this reason, the two patterns cannot replace each other.

This pattern is also used toward a server to ask for something not yet received, such as an extra drink. 「〜ていただきましょうか」 is different because it is an invitation or suggestion to receive something together.

The negative form 「〜ていただけませんか」 is used to ask another person to do something at a future time, such as delivering an item. 「〜てしまいましたか」 asks whether an action has already been completed, so it is not appropriate for a request.

• 静かにしていただけますか(しずかにしていただけますか, could you please be quiet?) — politely asks another person to keep quiet.
• 止めていただけますか(とめていただけますか, could you please stop?) — asks a vehicle driver to stop the vehicle at a certain place.
• あと三日ほどいただけますか(あとみっかほどいただけますか, could I please have about three more days?) — asks for additional time; 「ほど(about)」 indicates an estimated amount.
• 延ばしていただけますか(のばしていただけますか, could you please extend it?) — asks a teacher to give additional time for an assignment, using the verb 延ばす(のばす, to extend/postpone).

Request for leave

In a work situation, asking a superior for time off requires polite language. The pattern 「お休みをいただけませんか(おやすみをいただけませんか, could I please have a day off?)」 uses 「いただく」 and 「お〜」 to show respect to the superior. The form 「〜でしょうか」 makes the request sound softer, for example 「お休みをいただけないでしょうか」.

Plain statements such as 「休みをください」 are less polite toward a superior. Sentences that only state a plan, the condition of a schedule, or permission already obtained are not requests. For example, 「〜つもりでいる(intend to ...)」, 「〜ことになっている(it has been decided that ...)」, and 「〜許可をもらっている(have already received permission)」 describe a situation rather than make a request.

The sentence 「〜になります(it becomes ...)」 expresses a result or decision, while 「〜ですか」 used to confirm the certainty of a schedule is not a request for leave.

To ask to leave early, use 「早退(そうたい, leaving early)」 with the pattern 「〜させていただけますか(may I politely ... ?)」. The form 「〜させられる」 means to be forced to do something, so it is not suitable for asking permission. The expression 「〜そうなので(because it seems that)」 judges a situation from appearance, whereas a person who is sick feels their own condition directly.

To ask permission to arrive late 「遅れる(おくれる, to be late)」, use 「〜てもいいですか」. An answer that gives permission with a condition is still appropriate, for example 「事情(じじょう, reason)を教えてくれれば大丈夫です」. However, an answer 「はい」 followed by a statement that lateness is not good contradicts the meaning of permission.

Casual requests (〜てくれない？)

The pattern 「〜てくれない？」 is used to ask family members or close friends for help in a familiar tone. It is the casual version of 「〜てくれませんか」. Example: 「ちょっと待ってくれない？(bisa tolong tunggu sebentar?)」.

For a softer tone, 「〜てもらえない？」 or 「〜てもらえないかな」 is used. The pattern 「〜てもらえない？」 is used to ask someone to do something for the speaker, for example 「やり方を教えてもらえない？(bisa diajari caranya?)」.

The pattern 「〜てもらえないかな」 is even more polite and is often used to ask someone to show or lend something. The sentence 「〜てしまった」 expresses an action that is already finished or regretted, so it is not a request. The sentence 「〜はずだった(seharusnya ...)」 expresses an expectation about a situation that should have happened, not a direct request.

「〜てあげようか(mau saya ...?)」 is an offer from the speaker to do something for another person, a direction opposite to a request.

「〜てほしい」 and 「〜てもらいたい」 express the speaker's wish about another person's action. To ask a friend or family member directly, the pattern 「〜てくれない？」 is more natural.